|

|

|

What is self-deception and why are we committed to solving it?

Consulting practices generally focus on behavior modification: "What you're doing is causing a problem ... so the solution is simple. Stop doing it."

What's missing here?

Understanding and addressing the cause of the problematic behavior. It didn't come from nowhere. Something drove it. That's where Arbinger begins. With a theory of behavior that identifies the why of problematic behavior. After studying case after case, problem after problem, the Arbinger team came to a fascinating conclusion: the cause of virtually every problem, organizational and personal ... is the same.

It begins with the opposite of a moment of truth; it's a moment of untruth, of what we call self-betrayal. It's a moment when you make a choice ... that begins a remarkable, destructive and predictable process.

Self-Deception

Here's an example of how it works.

See if this sounds familiar.

You're the husband in this story. Jill is your wife. You're sound asleep after a hard day. At 4 am, your young daughter's cries wake you.

Your thoughts...

"I'd better get up and take care of her ... but I'm tired, I'm so comfortable ... Jill can do it ... but she's not getting up ... doesn't she hear the kid? ... I work hard all day, I did the kid last night ... what's wrong with her? ... I'm a good husband ... she's still not up! she's being lazy ... she's a lousy mom."

Bang. You've gone from sound asleep to condemning your wife in a few seconds flat.